I'm a Celebrity v Fatboydim

Yes it's that time of year again when "Celebrities" enter the jungle to moan and groan about eating rice, beans and camel toes. There is an obvious joke in there about eating camel toes, but I am not going to be the one to make it. Food is always an issue in IACGMOOH. Crocodile I assume is much like Alligator, which I've eaten before, Ostrich steaks are lovely, and I've even had a bit of skippy as well... I'll pass on the brains and turkey balls... This year I genuinely feel the pain of the Jungle contestants... Why? Not because I'm starving like they are... not because I'm obsessed by food, as they are... (Though I guess I am a bit) Not because I look better in a bikini than Matthew Wright ( I have bigger Moobs) But because of the constant Iceland Adverts in between. There's something wrong with me when I'm looking at those adverts and thinking Yum! Cherry chocolates and a pastry ring stuffed with minced beef, fish fingers with chips and mushy peas.... I've not shopped in Iceland for at least twenty years. (Mainly because I live in Ireland... but hey... That would kill the joke) ... And here's why.....

Kerry Katona advocate for Iceland - Before.

and after.

Ok I'm being facetious, but it's been a tough week. In fairness I was fine until Thursday, then driving back from Galway I had an urge to eat... The hunger was upon me. Not bad I suppose... 11 days into a diet and my first real hunger pangs. Once I got home I shovelled a handfull of wallnuts into my gob , and a thin slice of good ham. However I still felt hungry. That night dinner was a stir fry, lean pork, courgette, beansprouts, onion and peppers. i was still hungry. A few more wallnuts and an apple and I was finally sated. However I couldn't resist hitting the bathroom scales. BIG mistake... They always say you should never weigh yourself more than once a week... and they (Whoever they are ... self appointed a**holes) are right. I was weighing in four pounds heavier than Monday. What the... ? ? How many calories are there in a wallnut? Equally despite doubling my dose of Restoriix... which is supposed to detox and cleanse you... I hadn't been to the "Dunny" for two days. Oh the drama!

Then Friday came.... 

A Micky Flanagan moment.

Yes... dear readers... It happened then... the Restoriix gave me a seismic bowel movement. A tidal wave of do do did did flood the bowl. Not once, not twice, but thrice. OMG as the youth of today might say, did I feel better after that. So ignoring my advice to not weigh myself more than once a week I got on the scales this morning to see that I weigh 18st dead. I'm wondering if I should phone the Guinness book of records... However... Mrs Dim has also had a tough week. Being insulin dependent she did discuss her situation with a dietician at our pharmacists. The ever so helpfull O'Donnell's in Westport... They really are great. It seems that the problem for diabetics is that we should have carbs in some form each day. The aforementioned, bread, rice pasta... However wholewheat varieties and in very small portions. Perhaps it was the Restoriix, or perhaps it was the reintroduction of carbs into the diet, but on Friday I had a late breakfast, with one slice of dry wholemeal toast...  So was it the fibre that moved me, or the Restoriix? Well I think we have to give this one to the Restoriix as the gap between the carbs and the caboose was only around forty minutes... and my digestive system does not run that fast... However I do feel so much better by re-introducing a small amount of carbohydrates to my diet... and so does Mrs Dim. The carbs have really steadied her glucose levels as they were dipping too low... and mine have been steady all week.Now officially weigh in is Monday morning... so the above weights are unofficial, but should I remain 18st dead that's a loss of 13lbs in two weeks. We shall see.

Meanwhile .... I'm fifty one years old and still can't tie my shoe laces... any room for me in the jungle?

Fatboydim